u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
