Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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