I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
