Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
