He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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