Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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