dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
