...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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