yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
