awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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