i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Randomize
