I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize