Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
not ubering you a puppy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize