the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
