I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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