so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't put those talents on a resume
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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