i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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