half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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