I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize