Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
