He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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