so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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