there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
