Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
