Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
