U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize