I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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