he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
