Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
