Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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