The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
