Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
