I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
