and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
