I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I need water and some morals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
