please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
