I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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