benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
