Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
