Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
