if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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