It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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