I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My liver just had a heart attack.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
