I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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