remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope mine doesn't look like that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
