I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
