thus making me awesome and them whores
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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