playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
