I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
