So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
