I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
NoShamevember. You game?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
