if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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