4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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