well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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