shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
