he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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