As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
